이러지마 제발 - 케이윌
-stop it creepy hyung-
'Shut up' I said . I felt like my world is crashing down right after he said those words . All the words he said , one by one coming , destructing the shield I've been building this past three years . Why is this world is so , so unfair ? His eyes shows something that i can't tell . And i hate myself for that . Even after all this time , i could just tell by looking at his eyes . but now , no matter how hard i force myself for that , emptiness just shows it way .
'i know what you're going to say , please dont say it . '
'but why ? Don't you feel happy for me ?' I don't feel like answering him for now . Hearing him getting married is enough to broke me , silents me . Answering his question means confessing my feeling to him . No , im not ready yet ! Not ready to lose him to be precise . But , I could just lie , couldnt i ? I couldn't ! Why couldn't i ? tell him i am just too tired from all the works that i can't find the way to feel happy for him ? nah , i dont even know why . all the possibles reason i tried to create , is like mocking me .
Don't know why , don't know why
'I'm sorry . So sorry' I could only mouthing those word before i find myself right here in my car , starting the engine before the long road seems to take over me . My emotion keeps hovering me . Why can't he tell ? Why can't he see ? All this time , this stupid damn smile is only for him ? This stupid damn aegyo i keep repeating doing it , is for him ? Why can't he know that this damn freaking feeling that in my heart is for him .
I want to draw out each minute, each second But the empty road rushes me on
new past